Tonight I hosted a small Christmas dinner for Josh's friends. Chicken Marsala was served, good wines were shared, and conversation has been rampant. This past week has been one of little trials- I spent yesterday in the ER. Looking back it was rather comical. I nearly passed out from the IV but Josh had me giggling so hard that I made it! First time ever!My nurse was a angry little bald man who talked to me down his nasal cavity. After he tried to inject pain meds into me (after making sure I understood that this was very expensive medicine... Yes, thank you, I get that. I didn't actually ask for it, but if you insist on making me feel bad, go ahead) he didn't secure the IV right so I squirted blood everywhere. )If any of my coworkers read this blog, they know what happens when I see my own blood.) "GODDAMMIT!" he shouted, meanwhile my eyes welled with tears of pain and nausea. "What's wrong with you?!"
I kinda squeaked that nothing was wrong. He missed the seminar on compassion. After that, he had Josh do all the IV work. Yea. Who knew that IV saline could legally be 33 degrees fahrenheit? I thought I was going to freeze from the inside out.
Turns out I had passed a kidney stone, and have another one brewing in my left kidney. I also have a quite large ovarian cyst on my right ovary accompanied by an infection. Five hours later, one CT scan down, much poking in uncomfortable places, I was sent home with man's most powerful pain meds. I'm still a little sick, and with however many pounds of saline solution in me not even my fat pants fit. But it's ok. I'm ok. I get to see another day.
Tonight has been fun, though it has made me a little sad. I know these guys are "grown" men, but all I see are lost boys. Sure, they know a lot. Sure, they have seen a lot. But their eyes betray them, and I see the loneliness they carry. I am blessed to have a husband who is beyond words incredible, and a life that I cannot complain about- though I seem to more than I should. Then I see his friends, and I am brimming with compassion for them. I want to take care of them all and show them that the world, though a terrible place, doesn't have to be. Yet, they are a slave to their choices, and the best I can do is show them compassion through food and a safe place to hang out. I wish I could do more.
Forgive me if this post is a little melancholy, but realizing all of the things I have in this life is humbling. We talked about open opportunities in study group this week. I hope for more of them.
I kinda squeaked that nothing was wrong. He missed the seminar on compassion. After that, he had Josh do all the IV work. Yea. Who knew that IV saline could legally be 33 degrees fahrenheit? I thought I was going to freeze from the inside out.
Turns out I had passed a kidney stone, and have another one brewing in my left kidney. I also have a quite large ovarian cyst on my right ovary accompanied by an infection. Five hours later, one CT scan down, much poking in uncomfortable places, I was sent home with man's most powerful pain meds. I'm still a little sick, and with however many pounds of saline solution in me not even my fat pants fit. But it's ok. I'm ok. I get to see another day.
Tonight has been fun, though it has made me a little sad. I know these guys are "grown" men, but all I see are lost boys. Sure, they know a lot. Sure, they have seen a lot. But their eyes betray them, and I see the loneliness they carry. I am blessed to have a husband who is beyond words incredible, and a life that I cannot complain about- though I seem to more than I should. Then I see his friends, and I am brimming with compassion for them. I want to take care of them all and show them that the world, though a terrible place, doesn't have to be. Yet, they are a slave to their choices, and the best I can do is show them compassion through food and a safe place to hang out. I wish I could do more.
Forgive me if this post is a little melancholy, but realizing all of the things I have in this life is humbling. We talked about open opportunities in study group this week. I hope for more of them.
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