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Goals

I'm considering deleting my last post. Usually, I'm not that angry ever, but something about the news just sets me off. Today continued our terrible sleeping pattern and like usual, with it being ten thirty and all, I'm fully awake and ready to start the day. I wish I could wake up at nine pm and go to bed at seven instead of being teased by six hours of sun. Daytime has left me rather depressed honestly. I really miss the chaos of a full house. Chaos can sometimes be the best background noise as long as you have a safe place to listen to it from a distance. Around three today, I was realllllly down, but luckily, God gifted me the greatest man in the world. The only time he tells me I'm ugly is when I frown, and if I'm frowning, he fixes it. Tonight, he fixed it with Pho and taking me to Michaels. Silverdale was a buzz with a huge devastating fire today (no one died, thank goodness) but it added to the excitement. Unfortunately, Forza coffee is no longer. :(

It's as big as his head!

 If you have been living under a rock tomorrow is (oh God help us all) Monday. Instead of dreading the coming week, I am cementing some goals online and relying on invisible readers to keep me accountable.

1. I will NOT go back to sleep after dropping Josh off at work. Afternoon naps are fine though.
2. I will do some form of exercise everyday.
3. I will make cheese.
4. I will continue to work on the secret that is driving my mother mad.
5. I will find a healthy sleeping pattern.
6. I will remember to switch the laundry immediately so it doesn't sour.

I can do this.

tonight's thoughts

I like to think of myself as a rational person. Every now and then I'm not and I have no problem admitting to it. However, as I perused through the comment banks on a new site, I just about joined the ranks of the Elitists. I'm hoping and praying that the majority of posters are simply morons, and the rational people just decide that most issues aren't worth the time and effort to argue over. I hope. I practically drowned in the lukewarm, wishy-washy post modern piss. In short, I was so disgusted by what I read on the news and what's going on in our society that I'm just not going to read the news anymore. I can't remember the last time I read an intelligent comment, or an article that was at least half positive. I can only half squint and remember a time when people agreed on absolutes. I'm still of the opinion that absolutes really aren't that hard to grasp and they make life a lot easier. Maybe we should start with gravity- though I'm sure someone out there would argue that too.
Or maybe we ought to just stick to our little local communities like we used to and get our noses out of everyone else's business. OR, someone needs to light a fire under our butts and make us work. Life seemed to make a lot more sense when people had to hunt, build their own house, and use their own hands to survive. Whatever.
Josh and I have recently adopted a very poor sleep schedule. Up at eleven thirty, bed by three. I prefer the night, only because in the winter, the days are dreary, dark, and life sucking. The night seems to hide that. Nights are the same every season- except maybe the summer. Plus, I get so much more accomplished at night and I'm at peak functioning. It only makes sense to stay up then.
I haven't posted in awhile because I've been suffering from extreme boredom and no motivation. The symptoms were so severe yesterday that I was in tears. Literally that bored. But I have a new project and I'm excited to announce it soon. Until then!

No caffeine=unhappy

I've been trying to kick my vacation caffeine addiction and it's not going well so far. Forgive me for any sentence structure mistakes I may make. My head fills like its filled with syrup and any quick movement threatens to send me hurtling into the sixth dimension. Yea, the sixth. Forget about the fourth and fifth. I was really hoping that chocolate so dark even Satan would thumb his nose at it would help. It didn't. Neither did gorging on beans. I think that made the problem worse.
If you haven't noticed, I changed my blog design again. This time I plan on keeping it for longer than a week. You'll also notice I added a portfolio section. It is currently empty. To be honest, as an artist, I'm embarrassed to open the page. The art I have spans many years and lacks coherent style. I am ashamed that I feel so little connection to it, and feel that I have failed as an artist. The art there simply isn't me. Josh says I spend far too much time making art for other people and not for myself. Perhaps that's why I fail. I do what others will enjoy while silencing myself at the same time.
I'm currently working on my first ever three part series inspired by my favorite movement, Art Nouveau. I have never done anything like it before and really hope that it awakens something within me. I hope. My optimism decided to pack its bags the day I kicked out coffee.

At least Boog is pretty optimistic.

"Home" Again

After putting 3200+ miles on the car, it feels good to know that I shan't be driving more than 20 miles a day for awhile. I'll be uploading all of my vacation pics tomorrow, but for now, I just feel like writing while I finish up the laundry. It never fails. I clean my house spotless before we leave, but somehow, the messy house gnomes have a party. I just don't understand. I also overestimated my husband's idea of a clean bathroom. Since he uses the spare, I rarely ever go in there. Tonight, though, I got a wild hair to clean all the things and had to destroy an interpretive dance session that a bacterial community was hosting in my husband's toilet bowl. I guess compared to his old frat house, the toilet was gold. Not in my book though.

I was beyond upset last night. I just didn't want to leave. Coeur d' Alene will always have a special pull on me and no matter how long I am there, it's never enough time. It will always be home. But now that we are back to home numero dos, there is really no point in dwelling on Idaho. Vacation has definitely expanded both of our waste lines and it's time for me to get back into the fitness groove. I'm putting Josh on the sneak diet and getting rid of all temptations. I've also resolved to decorate my studio, my bedroom, and the dining room as well as learn to make homemade mozzarella, pasta, and jerky. I'm doing all in my power to come up with ideas to keep me as busy as possible, and hope and pray that I can find a part time job.

Until tomorrow.

Losing my marbles (and then finding them in time for New Years.)

Today was boring. So boring that I had to find my marbles (literally). Josh said he was up for anything as long as I could think of something to do. I decided to bake marbles, thinking that it would require a quick trip to the dollar store and back. Oh no. Nope. I was wrong. Marbles are no longer en vogue. An hour and a half later (and visibly irritated) I finally found them at Michaels. I will say that the boredom buster was well worth the search and the cook time.

Nestled among the sea shells I collected on Mission Beach are my baked marbles. They are so beautiful and so easy to do. Bake them at 500 F for about thirty to forty minutes or so on a cookie sheet, but do make sure to cover the sheet and the marbles with a layer of aluminum foil in case they explode. Once flaming hot, dunk them in ice water and they should (repeat should. I had to bake them at various temperatures and times to get this right.) crack from the inside out. 

One of the great things about being home is having access to my dad's camera. Like most of my dad's toys, I endured the six month waiting period while he hogged it and guarded it like a dragon on it's treasure trove. Once he grew bored with it, I decided to give it a go. It's more fun to practice than anything. Today Brynda and I tried to get some good pictures of the dogs. Usually our attempts ended in uncooperative kisses, like these...

While others ended kinda like this. *Cue 30's horror music*

Notice Brynda's expression. Waffles does not like pictures. Lol.

We managed a few good ones after awhile though. Fortunately for you, my readers, we also had makeovers today. I usually never wear this much makeup. Ever. Josh said I looked good, but looked even better without. Awe.

So far, today, even in it's boredom, was well spent sending off the old year. My mom made a delicious dinner and she made me cookies. Even though I told her no sugar. Sometimes, I think that when I tell her no sweets, her eyes glaze over and she somehow hears, "Yes, please. Give me a bag of sugar and a spoon." Oh well, I'll just be hearing from the hives police here soon I'm sure.

As far as resolutions go (everyone has to make them, but not necessarily keep them), I plan on-

1. Consciously eating Paleo to heal my gut
2. Doing at LEAST one art piece a month (this gives me wide birth)
3. Blogging more, and then organizing said blog

And that's pretty much it. Happy New Year all!

Curse you digestive tract

I've gotten this terrible urge to write everything that pops into my head. Usually, it's the other way around.  Whatever. This post is more of a solid statement to myself. My IBS has been giving me issues and here is a record (to myself) of what I simply cannot eat.

-wheat (which includes any form of gluten)
-corn
-beans (occasionally, but definitely not paired with corn)
-Ice cream
-Peanuts
-Cashews
-Potato chips
-Anything too spicy
-Concentrated sugar
-Coffee
-Chocolate
-Fun
-Happiness

I hate my stomach. Yes, I'm still on the paleo diet. Yes, it is working well for me. But if it wasn't bland enough, I can safely kiss chocolate goodbye. At least for now. At least until my stomach heals itself. I hate my stomach.

What does make it better? Well, bacteria pills for one. Exercise definitely helps... So does cheese and meat. Curiously, apples and carrots do not. If it's boring and would make a grown man cry, it's probably safe for me to eat. *sigh*