Confessions

Writing a blog is a lot like exercising- stop for a week and then you get complacent. Suddenly, life becomes to busy, or you don't feel like writing, or the idea of sitting in a 400 degree room to tell the world your thoughts suddenly becomes less enticing than Teen Mom. Anyway, where have I been?
It all began with a hospital run, then me stepping on a pair of scissors, and then Boomer getting deathly ill. We aren't talking vomit here, more like butt sewage. Everywhere. With no end. It was the stuff of A class horror films- A class horror films that smell like refried beans gone bad. Don't give me that look, you wanted to know where I went!

sad :(

It took a week for Boomer to get better, and even as we speak he is still on his medication. The doctor warned me that the pills taste bad- she was putting it nicely. Usually, you can pry a dogs jaw open and shove it down their throat. But no, not Boomer. No way Jose. He has the iron jaw that no amount of poking, gripping, or crowbarring can pop open. So, from now on, if you have a dog that won't take its meds, tear off a piece of tortilla, spread cream cheese on it, place the pills in it and make a mini burrito. Cream cheese masks everything.

After a pill, under the table. Glare.

Yes, it seems like this past month has simply revolved around sickness. I've spent the past two years phasing the seasons by the latest health crisis and I'm growing tired of it, but life goes on.

wtf....

In other news, my sister is here to stay with me for the next month or so. I'm having a hard time coping with Josh being gone all the time so it's nice to have a warm body around to talk to. The great thing about having her here though is that she knows when I need to be left alone and when I need to talk to somebody. In all honesty, I'm just going to give myself time and a break. No stress. Once again, I find myself retreating more and more into my little shell and wanting no interaction with anyone. Counter intuitive I know, but it's almost just instinct for me. I feel as though I've forgotten how to speak, let alone even hang out with family. Even the idea of being with close family and friends gives me anxiety. I don't know where this anxiety comes from, but it just keeps building, and I'm afraid I'm hurting a lot of people because of it. I used to be shy, yes, but this is ridiculous!
It just simply feels as if I live my life in this continuous circle consisting of very outgoing periods, and very not so outgoing periods.*sigh* And to be honest, I can time this just right with my Spiritual walk. I can handle things well when I stay in the word, but get increasingly more anxious and more easily upset outside of it. But once again, this is like exercising, and like life itself, tends to be a cycle with me. Being on my own now, I can understand why it is so important to find someone who helps you stay accountable. One thing I've never done well on my own is study God. Makes sense though, as He never intended for us to make it through the rat race alone.