Old Habits Die Hard

Today, I've had
5 oz of ground turkey
1 serving of chicken breast
1 slice of provalone
1/4 c of tomato sauce
1.5 C of steamed cauliflower
1/2 Tbs butter
3 eggs
2 apples
1 Tbs Almond Butter
1 fudgsicle and a few drinks of a white mocha (remember yesterday? It was either the chocolate or arson.)

That's about 1300 calories (which I know I'll eat more tonight. Concert!) 82 g of protein and who knows how many carbs? I chose not to count today, just to judge how I feel (which turns out to be less homicidal).   I really feel like I'm in a rut though. You aren't technically supposed to graze on this diet, but I have been grazing my whole life. It's very difficult to feel full and satisfied when you graze, but the idea of eating a whole meal somehow freaks me out. Like, if I eat a whole meal, I won't get to eat again until the next! The whole grazing mentality really has me messed up right now. Oye vey. Another thing that really scares me? Calories. Heck, I'm a kid of the nighties and early two thousands. The Calorie Craze era. I've been aware of calories since I was twelve! So, between this grazing, feeling deprived, and counting calories I really don't know what to do, except for something. In all honesty, calories should be the last of my concern. Most of them come from carbs, and after my binge last night coupled with the intestinal crushing abdomen ache, moodiness and acid reflux that followed, carbs really shouldn't be a concern for me. But oh how I mourn the loss of you my precious rice. Talk about unrequited love.